Inspired by Ellie Goulding...

Do I expect too much, am I unreasonable?  Am I like a writer deciding the words that you say?  Am I disappointed because you don’t follow what I think you should say and do. It’s too hard to ask won’t you try to help me.  I keep telling myself that you are human and I’m not an artist, I can’t make you out of clay. 

Why I have conversations.

Some conversations can be like food and drink; refreshing and invigorating. Conversation can build you up and take the weight of ten bricks off your shoulders.  I like these kinds of conversations but life seems to be made up of many types of conversations ones that give you wings and ones that break you down.  Fundamental memories in my life revolve around certain conversation s I have had with people. I see conversations as what connects people it’s the foundation of any relationship.

Over commited

Life can feel overwhelming in no time when too many commitments are made. I am having an overload, commitment-wise time at the moment. I realised how frazzled I was when yesterday I forgot to bring my passport to the travel agency to pay for my flight to Thailand before it was cancelled, due to this forgetfulness my flight was cancelled and that specific flight special never to be seen again. To add to my bad day I forgot about an appointment which I had to book months in advance to get a spot. Sheesh!!  Serious bad day material!!   Then I had to gather up the strength to have a serious DMC (deep meaningful conversation) with a friend to clear up some issues. The conversation was actually great and things resolved so at least my wreck of a Wednesday ended on a sweet note.

Bucket list

The first 15 things that come to mind when I think of my bucket list:

1.       Make a life changing positive impact on someone or some people.

2.       Stay on a tropical island where I need to walk along a jettie to get to my cabana

3.       Have a child or several

4.       Swim with dolphins

5.       Go to Fiji

6.       Own a long haired Daschund

7.       Own a Minnie Cooper

8.       Run the Two Oceans Marathon

9.       Take a sauna in Finland and rolling in the snow

10.   Have a personal stylist

11.   Travel to Lesotho

12.   Have a cycling holiday in Provence

13.   Travel throughout Thailand

14.   Take a Thai cooking course

15.   Live in a tree house

Pending

My life at the moment feels like one bit pending experience:

I'm waiting to hear if I've got into the first round of interviews for next years graduate programmes.

I'm waiting to hear if we are going to move to Tokai from Claremont not.

I'm waiting for my boyfriend to come home from overseas.

I'm waiting for my friends nest egg to arrive so that we can book our overseas trip.

I'm waiting for my gym sessions to show some results.

Although that sounds like an annoying place to be with all the waiting, the anticipation is in fact exciting!

My big fat BIG dream

I dream of a job that I can’t wait to get to in the morning and a beautiful home and family that I can’t wait to get to in the afternoon. My dream is to live in a place which is near mountains and the sea. My dream is filled with freedom and love where I have time to really live and experience all the goodness that life has to offer. 

My dream is to always be able to be genuine and honest and to do what I love to my best ability in all aspects of life.

My dream is that at the end of my life my regrets are few that I can undoubtedly say that my use of life was spent on something that will outlast it.

Conventional is a good fallback position isn't it

It's quite funny that this is the blog topic of this week because the book I was reading last night was talking close to this topic, 'there are two basic ways people try to find happiness and fulfillment: the way of moral conformity and the way of self-discovery. Each acts as a lens colouring how you see all of life, or as a paradigm shaping your understanding of everything. Each is a way of finding personal significance and worth, of addressing the ills of the world, and of determining right from wrong. '  - The Prodigal God, Tim Keller.

This book discusses the simple biblical story of the Prodigal son but what is very different is that it looks at the older brother who was just as lost as his wild brother who went on a journey of self discovery. The older brother was the one who conformed but to a point where he lost himself and touch with what was important.